Unparalleled Parallel Worlds Collide

sometimes, things aren't what they seem

Month: January, 2011

Uber-flowing Mind Overload


**sideline muna bago ang main event**

ofukuro: baket mo binuksan ang redwine?

atashi: eh ipinangluto ko, mukhang malapit na kase maexpire eh

ofukuro: inde naman naeexpire ang wine eh baka naman pinang inom mo nanaman yan?

atashi: (iniisip: anung inde? andami na nating expired na bote ng wine dahil inde nyo ginagalaw at nadurog na ang cork at naging suka na sa sobrang tagal!) inde, pinangluto ko nga lang

ofukuro: ikaw inom ka ng inom inde mo ba alam habit forming yang pag inom magiging adik ka pagtumanda ka na! nakakahiya ka!

atashi: (iniisip: hmm? inde pa ba ko matanda na? 27 na ko? ilang taon na ba ko sa tingin nyo? 18? at inde naman ako tanga para hindi malaman yan? dyusmiyo!) *nanahimik nalang bago pa makasagot ng hindi kanais nais sabay tawa nalang sa kalooblooban*

amfota, alam ko naman tumigil pag talagang kelangan tumigil. alam ko ang limits ko. inde ako tanga amfota.  tska pag ako meh kinaadikan alam ko na ang patern nyan: mag aadik ng bongga tapos paglipas ng ilang buwan.. paunti unting humuhupa hanggang sa hindi ko na sya masyado ginagawa kase either nakakatamad na syang gawin o hindi ko na nakikita ang silbi kung baket ko pa sya ginagawa. kahet kelan inde ako nagkaron ng “withdrawal symptoms” pag tumigil ako sa pag aadik sa isang bagay. i’m confident enough to say malakas ang control ko dyan. ika nga nila “it’s all in the mind.”

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buong araw kung anu anu ang naiisip kong gawin na pampadagdag sa aking maliit na tambayang hardin. nagbutingting ng mga panibagong ilaw at gagawa sana ako ng lantern mula sa pinagtagping bote ng pepsi max pero bigo ako sa kinalabasan dahil hindi ako natuwa kase hindi naging blue yung tint nung ilaw 😐 kung kaya’t inayos ko nalang yung plant box nung garden at nilagyan ng black light yung gilid ng wall sa likod nung mga nasirang salamin na katambak. sa kabilang dulo naman ng swing eh pinakinabangan ko yung 19kopong-kopong naming lampara na nakabalandra lang sa isang tabi at ginamit muli 🙂 ayan! maganda na! pero parang nakukulangan pa ko….

madami pa kong gustong ilagay. gusto ko gumawa ng maliit na bangkito, lagyan ng vines yung isang bahagi ng hardin para magkaron ng parang vine wall effect chorva at siguro maglagay pa ng kung anu mang karagdagan na lantern para pagtumambay dun eh parang iisipin mong asa isa kang maliit na cafe sa labas 😀 balak ko din sanang ayusin yung coffee table na marmol na may chessboard na nakaukit at maghanap ng mga piyesa ng chess para naman mapanindigan nung table na pwede pa din syang paglaruan :))  maglagay kaya ako ng puno sa gilid? maglagay kaya ako ng aromatheraphy na lantern? maglagay kaya ako ng windchimes? fota andami kong naiisip… kaso sa kakaisip ko ng gusto kong mangyari… tinatamad akong gawin -___-

swing area ^_^

Nomimashou yo! @_@


totoo kaya ang kasabihan na kung anung ginagawa mo pag patak ng new year eh yun ang gagawin mo buong taon?????? >_<

ngayong buong buwan ng January eh mahigit 2 -4 beses ako sa isang linggo mag nomu T_T amfota hindi ko alam kung baket humantong sa ganun >_< hindi naman siguro dahil bigo ako? ahahahahahaha

pero may napansin nanaman akong pattern… nung nagbreak kame ni “Ryuzaki” natuto akong mag yosi na halos mag chain smoker na ko… ngayon naman nung nagbreak kame ni “Near” amfota puro inom naman ang ginagawa ko. san ka pa???? >_< what’s next??? pag nagkaron pa ko ng isang heartbreak anu kayang susunod kong bisyo??? hahahaha

and yes i’m drinking yesterday’s last batch at the moment because there’s like half of the pitcher left lol. mmm gin+apple iced tea+mango juice ^_^ last night i made 3 batches… and i was drinking HALF of the 1.3 liter pitcher every batch -___- jesus h christ. isang buong litro ng gin ang naubos… is it just me or g.s.m. blue makes a good base for the mix? lol  kahet na pulang pula na ko wititit akong nagkaron na memory lapse na sadyang sakit ko kapag senglot na ko >_< ay jusmiyo nalakas na ko uminom 😐 may natitira pang isang 1L bote ng g.s.m. blue dito…  anu kayang gagawin ko dito?? pang next week na inuman na to ayaw ko na uminom mamaya, uubusin ko nalang ‘tong natira dito 😐

T_T


i’m not really fond of kpop bands but this song really got me >_> hay naku Reba! lol

Buzzed >_<


as i woke up today, everything’s a blur.

it feels like i’m awake but i’m really not. awfully quiet around here except for the radio playing at the other room but it feels empty. normally i’d enjoy being alone without any care… but lately it’s just depressing. so i’d probably invite friends over again tonight.

though i’m still lucky enough i have a lot of friends who help support me emotionally.  ang swerte swerte ko, sobrang yaman ko sa kaibigan… sa sobrang yaman ko sa kaibigan halos araw araw din nila ko binibigyan ng sakit ng ulo sa kakatawa, kakaiyak sa mga kwento nilang ka-emuhan at winiwindang ako sa mga kasabawan na walang kapantay. hindi na din siguro talaga ako magtataka kung tatandang dalaga ako. wala man akong “special someone” palagi ko din naman ginugugol ang oras ko para sa mga taong malalapit sakin at pati na din dun sa mga taong inde ko masyado kakilala pero nangangailangan sakin..

a few years back i used to have this vision, like i was this weird old woman in a foreign land living alone and people would just keep coming to my house asking for help.. from simple things such as sharing my food to nourish their bodies,  sharing advices that i just cant even do to myself, doing “readings” to satisfy their inquisitive minds and probably saying a few prayers and spells to ease their troubles away… and when the town no longer needs me i’d go travel to another place where my aid is needed… oo parang weirdong fairytale lang. what was that movie called? a yes, just like Nanny Mcphee — except i don’t have to really go to the “ugly-look-turn-into-goddess” part lol

as i sit here, i still feel like i’ve drank a bottle of gin although that was yesterday’s news since i had been drinking with friends last night. and yeah we’d probably drink again later so it will be today’s news as well hahaha! it does keep my mind from thinking about things that i dont want to think about but then after that.. gah, i’d actually cry myself silly when no one’s looking. pathetic? well maybe, at least i don’t really cry in front of my friends though.  i rather not play the “poor me” part in front of the people i care about not because of pride, but because i don’t really want them to worry about me. i’m sure enough i can handle this well myself… after all, i’ve been to tons of breakups where i get to play the “poor me” part since they’d just leave because either they think i’m too nice and they can’t stand having to cheat on me or because they just chickened out because i always come in too strong for them ready to risk things because… that’s how i love.

ah well.. i don’t really know what’s wrong.. is there really something wrong with me? i wonder about that sometimes… why do people come and go in my life (and in such a short notice at times >_<)? maybe it’s just a part of what you call “living” ?

Freedom is such a lonely word.


Who would’ve guessed… right?

Just when i was whining about my limitations, freedom just showed itself right at my doorstep… so, ok —  now what? i just realized, it’s not as easy as i thought it was.

These are the times when i wish you were still here.

These are the times when i wish i didn’t wish for this.

These are the times when i wish i was having fun with you.

These are the times when i wish i was just enjoying my day seeing you smile.

These are the times when i wish stupid tears wont flow from my pudgy eyes from missing you.

These are the times when i wish… i just wish… you didn’t have to leave.

I could never look at this house the same way as i did before.. you left me with so many memories in this place that i couldn’t stand being alone in here sometimes… not really sometimes because its more like MOST of the time.  Everywhere i look, i remember you. i remember seeing you there, i remember you hugging me. i remember how you would sometimes look at me when i’m busy or just pretending to be busy then you would sometimes tell jokes just to distract me then kiss me unexpectedly. i remember us just sitting on the sofa, on this computer chair, at the porch, at our “special area”… it never fails to drive me wild and just move me to tears…

*sigh*

i guess i have to move on.. someday. but right now i’m still savoring the bittersweet memories of what used to be. i’d still want for you to come back though.. if after the clouds in your head have dissipated and you’d still want to be with me that is…

i hate having to be on a replay button. this time i want to set things right.